Best Foot Sideways
by Daeleniel Shadowphyre
Summary: Quatre knows he can't sing. Unfortunately, his friends don't.


**Title:** Best Foot Sideways

**Author:** Daeleniel Shadowphyre

**Feedback:** darkone2813 at mindspring dot com

**Fandom:** Gundam Wing

**Genre:** General, Humour

**Rating:** G

**Pairing:** 1+2+3+4+5 friendship

**Summary:** Quatre knows he can't sing. Unfortunately, his friends don't.

**Warnings:** Karaoke. 'Nuff said.

**Disclaimer:** Gundam Wing and related characters and themes belong to Yoshiyuki Tomino and Hajime Yatate, Bandai and Sunrise, and the Sotsu Agency. Nyra Cage and her song "Best Foot Sideways" belong to me. This is a non-profit work of fiction.

**Notes:** Written for the SDQB 444 Challenge #9, Serenade. This was inspired by the scene in Slither in the karaoke bar as well as my own horrific experiences with karaoke, prodded by Inanna and her ruddy challenge (although not the "threat" of singing, since I'd likely join her), and spurred onwards by the lines from my song "Best Foot Sideways" which I've attributed to the fictional character Nyra Cage: I can run in your race, but I never can win it/I open my mouth and there's two left feet in it/It's hard to keep my balance when I'm balanced on a ledge/Then you catch me best foot sideways and I'm falling off the edge.

**Dedication:** To Inanna-- happy now?

**Distribution:** Ask, and ye shall receive.

* * *

It was a little-known fact that Quatre Raberba Winner, CEO of Winner Enterprises Incorporated, and former Gundam pilot, could not sing. At all. He had an excellent ear for music and perfect pitch, but his voice - pleasant enough when speaking - was less inspiring when raised in song... unless the inspiration was to cover your ears to block out the sound.

He'd managed to go through the entire war without anyone beyond his family learning this. Trowa Barton had only ever heard Quatre playing the violin. Quatre hadn't been able to relax enough around Duo Maxwell that the other pilot could have caught him singing. The time Quatre had spent with Heero Yuy had been a dark time with little to inspire the need for music. Chang Wufei hadn't been in Quatre's company much at all during the war, save on Peacemillion, and no one felt much like singing then.

Leave it to Duo to pick the most public and embarrassing method of revealing Quatre's closely guarded secret: karaoke.

'C'mon, Q, you're up next!' Duo grinned, thumping Quatre on the back. Quatre grimaced; the blow didn't hurt, but it had jostled him more than he'd been ready for.

'I don't recall agreeing to this,' he pointed out dryly, wiping his wet hand on one of the bar's waxy paper napkins.

'"We should get together and do something,"' Trowa intoned solemnly. Quatre shot him a sharp look that, predictably, bounced right off him.

'"How long has it been since any of us just relaxed?"' Wufei added, smirking slightly.

'"We are connected,"' Heero remarked blandly. '"War cannot be the only thing holding us together."'

Quatre groaned as Duo delivered the coup de gras with, '"Where doesn't matter to me, Duo-- you can choose someplace for us."' The blond pilot-turned-executive dropped his head in silent acknowledgement of defeat as his friends threw his own words back at him.

'What, pray tell, am I supposed to serenade you with, then?' he asked, sternly reigning in the desire to pout at them.

'"Best Foot Sideways" by Nyra Cage,' Duo said promptly. Quatre made a face. Trust Duo to have been through Quatre's music collection and locate the one disc by the one artist he listened to the most.

'You're going to live to regret this,' he promised them as he stood and walked up to the stage. Picking up the microphone, he nodded to the DJ to start the music and, ignoring the teleprompter entirely, closed his eyes, waited for the music to reach his cue, and sang.

The song was set directly in range of his speaking voice. The lyrics were enunciated clearly. The timing was spot-perfect. Each note was sustained exactly long enough and not a moment over.

It sounded absolutely horrible.

Not once could Quatre get his voice to hit the notes it was supposed to, often breaking them or missing them completely and nearly strangling himself on the high notes. How ironic that the song he was singing was about trying your hardest and falling short of the mark.

When he finished, he opened his eyes and smiled in rueful apology to the rest of the bar patrons, who laughed and catcalled and shouted a few playful insults that Quatre took in good humour. Playing it up, he gingerly set the microphone down and made a show of backing away from it, much to the delight of the audience. Hopping down from the stage, he made his way back to the table where his friends sat, looking shell-shocked.

'I warned you,' Quatre said as he slid into his seat and took a sip of his drink. Somehow, it failed to surprise him when he was pelted from four directions with crumpled napkins.

**-Owari-**


End file.
